I guess the burial of lecture notes underneath my study desk helped – saying goodbye and that we will not meet ever again assured my heart that I will pass this semester.
Results were released on Monday right before I got really sick and slept for 2 days consecutively. I got 2 friggin A- (& 1 A for Korean, my elective), 1st time in 2 years of studies. I was really really happy, but asked myself not to be cocky or too self-confidence and be sure to work extra hard for the coming semester at the same time.
Bummed that I have to go through the episode for 2 more semesters (but then studying is still better than working full time no matter how… according to some friends). The final exam was really hard for me. I did not do well for my midterms (and the only person I can blame is me) so I had to push myself real hard so that I wouldn’t embarrass myself further. Yes pride is my weakness (or the opposite) and it can either helps you or kills you. Bear in mind that I am really not a study person – Making it extra hard to memorise all those shits especially when they didn’t even make much sense to me. I wanted to give up, hide in a corner to sulk and pretend I don’t care but I can’t. I can’t forget the humiliating moment when I found out that I got the lowest mark of a subject midterm paper out of my class. I broke down cuz I couldn’t deal with the pressure anymore, I couldn’t sleep, I was angry at myself and the universe, I cried in my boyfriend’s arm… But I’m glad in the end it’s all worth it. Thanks to my friends and my boyfriend for supporting/motivating me endlessly and also the universe/god for answering my prayers, or law of attraction, don’t care it’s the same to me… I do believe religion exists for a reason no matter you believe in it or not, perhaps we’ll talk about it the other time.