Summer book challenge #4: Sh*t My Dad Says

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Sh*t Justin Halpern’s Dad Says

This book has been on my to-read list for a long while. When I had the RM200 book vouchers on hands, guess what’s the 1st book I searched for on the Kinokuniya search machine?

… And the Kinokuniya machine directed me to the philosophy category and I managed to find this book out from few racks of Ancient Greek philosophy literature. You are on the same level with Socrates & Plato, Mr. Sam Halpern! (I wonder what will he say)

Anyway, I was expecting many funny moments & deep, witty, sarcastic but meaningful golden quotes from Mr. Halpern given that many Goodreads user have rated this book 5 stars, & I am not disappointed.

I have to say that this book is my favourite read from my summer book challenge list apart from Beautiful Ruins. Unfortunately I did not manage to finish Middlesex & Shadow of Night before the break ended. :(

“People are always trying to tell you how they feel. Some of them say it outright, and some of them, they tell you with their actions. And you have to listen. I don’t know what will happen with your lady friend. I think she’s a nice person, and I hope you get what you want. But do me a favor: Listen, and don’t ignore what you hear.”

“Don’t ever say stuff just because you think you should.That’s the definition of an asshole.”

“If you work hard and study hard. And you fuck up. That’s okay. If you fuck up and you fuck up, then you’re a fuckup.”

“There seem to be a lot of gay people there…Oh please, as if that’s what I meant by that. Trust me, none of them would ever want to fuck you anyway. They’re gay, not blind.”

“No, you can’t go getting mad at people because they’re shitty. Life will get mad at them, don’t worry.”

On Lego’s:
“Listen, I don’t want to stifle your creativity, but that thing you built there, it looks a pile of shit.”

On Telemarketer Phone Calls:
“Hello?…Fuck you.”

One day I was on a walk with him and my dog, Angus, who was sniffing around in a bush outside a neighbor’s house. My dad turned to me and said, “Look at the dog’s asshole.”
“What? Why?”
“You can tell by the dilation of his asshole that he’s going to shit soon. See. There it goes.”
It was at that moment, as my dog emptied his bowels in my neighbor’s yard and my dad stood there proudly watching his prediction come true, that I realized how wise, even prophetic, he really is.”

So thank you Mr. Sam Halpern, for all the philosophy you’ve taught Justin & indirectly, us.

x Jess

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